Friday, March 30, 2012

End of March Update and Fat Acceptance

Another 2 lbs down! *phew* I was a little concerned this week because I didn't get as much exercise as I did the week before because the weather turned cold again. I tried making up for it by really pushing myself in the workouts that I did at home. I guess it worked! I'm trying to push myself more. I'm usually the type that stops as soon as it begins hurting or I get out of breath. On Wednesday, the weather was a little warmer so my oldest son and I rode our bikes to the gas station. It was really windy that day. We got half way down our street and almost turned around to come home. I noticed how difficult it was to ride in the wind.. My legs were pushing so hard and I could feel my heart racing and I was out of breath. I wasn't going to say anything though until my son stopped and said his legs hurt, lol. We discussed going back home, but we decided to keep going anyway. There were a couple times that I was super close to saying screw it, let's go back home but I didn't. I kept pushing and pushing, even though by the time we got to the gas station I thought I was going to pass out! I didn't though, and the ride home was much easier with the wind to our back. My legs felt like jello by the time we got back home though. Riding my bike is definitely great for my legs!

I was reading Fitness magazine yesterday. It said in there that if you lose more than 2 lbs a week (apart from the typical big loss at the beginning), then you are eating too little calories.. and that anything more than 2 lbs a week is not healthy (*ahem, Biggest Loser!). Soo, even though I would like to lose more than 2 lbs a week, I will take it. It's much better than losing only 1 lb or even gaining. It's just frustrating when you are my size. Two pounds a week works out to 8 pounds a month. At that pace, it would take about a year to lose 100 lbs. Of course, along the way there are going to be bigger loses once in awhile, there are going to be plateaus, and there are going to be mistakes made along the way causing maybe even a few gains. I know losing weight as quick as they do on the Biggest Loser is not healthy, but it would be a lot more motivating. I'm still good right now, I just hope I can keep the momentum. I don't have much support at all apart from my mom. She's trying to lose, too and is doing great. She gave up pop completely (can you imagine!?) and hasn't had one in almost a month! Other than that, I don't have any support. I have friends that may tell me good job if I mention that I've lost, but I don't have any other weight loss partners or someone to cheer me on and for me to cheer on. I need a weight loss buddy, damn it!! My husband is no support at all. He's happy with me the way I am and is always bringing junk food home. Even when I mention that I've lost 30 lbs, he says nothing. *sigh*. I'll just have to prove that I can get through this on my own!

Fat acceptance. Is it for others to accept fat people? What about fat people accepting that they are fat? Is a fat person every truly happy with themselves? Are they confident? Maybe a few, but most are like me. Disgusted by what they see in the mirror, embarrassed, humiliated, and miserable. Most of us don't want to be fat but it's an unaccepted addiction that anyone who has never had a weight problem can ever understand. It's more than just eating healthy and exercise; the mind can be a powerful thing.

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