Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Is there a doctor in the house?

Im trying to type this while I work. We will see how good this goes, lol.

I'm getting really sick and tired of saying this. But guess what? I am sick AGAIN! I am ready to punch something! i can't believe that i am sick this often! I've never been like this before! All of my kids have had it over the past week and we are all still trying to get over it. I'm sure it's probably a bug that my 4 year old picked up at preschool or something. The doctor said that kids their age have an average of 8 colds a year! EIGHT! However, his teacher also told me that this year has been really bad with all of the kids. So I don't know if it's just a bad year or if it is because my son is in school and around more germs. My husband has been very lucky and has only been sick once this winter. Ugh! That figures! I haven't been able to smell anything or taste anything since lunch time Friday! (it's now Wednesday). I think I could lose a lot of weight if I had no taste buds, lol. I have just been basically making myself eat something each day because nothing sounds good! I feel like I am making a waste of food if I can't taste it! I don't want to eat and waste the flavor, haha! I would love to see how much weight I have lost in this past week because I haven't been eating much at all...but I haven't weighed myself in so long I wouldn't know what I was last week! I did weigh myself lastnight just for the heck of it and WOWzers! I realize that it was at the end of the day instead of first thing in the morning but YIKES!..that number scared me! I'm definitely going to have to do something fast!

I'm just trying to get over this cold or sinus infection or whatever the heck this is. I haven't been working out since I have been sick. It seems like this is happening every time I start to get back into the "groove" of working out..then I get sick and get out of the groove again! As soon as I am feeling up to it I will be working out again. I miss it! I guess I can consider my eating to be "good" this week? Since I haven't eaten any so called bad foods because I can't taste them!

On Saturday I am supposed to start a part time job. I'm excited about it! It will get me out of the house a few days a week and some extra money for us. I will be working that job and still trying to do my online job. That means that even MORE of my time is going to be occupied! I wish I could just blog all day! I would like that..but I just have to squeeze it in whenever I can! I try to post atleast once a week. I so wish I could post more than that but there just aren't enough hours in the day time or the week for that matter, lol!

Saturday, January 12, 2008

The new year....

Ok, so my resolution for the new year is not to lose weight. My resolution is to be healthier! Eat healthier and get more exercise. I've decided not to worry so much about the number on the scales but just live a healthier way of life! I have been working out just about every day and been trying to eat healthier. My biggest obstacle right now is my husband (again). Ok, yeah he is working out, too but he isn't eating any differently. There's no use talking to him because he wont listen and he doesn't care. When he is hungry, he is hungry! He is used to being able to eat whatever he wants to because he has always worked an active laborous job. Now he's not working such an active job and the calories are staying instead of leaving! However, I'm not going to lecture him or push him. It's his decision and no matter how much I want him to go along with my eating habits I can't force him. It has to be his decision. Anyway, back to my point. So with this job he gets home around 10-11 pm every night. A lot of nights he ends up picking up something to eat on the way home because he hasn't had dinner yet and is starving. He always brings extra home for me, too and if it is in my face then I have a very hard time pushing it away. I have told him not to bring me home anything anymore because I probably wouldn't eat anything if it weren't for him bringing stuff home!

I'm still having such a struggle with food. It seems to be a neverending struggle. I have a love/hate relationship with food. I love it and crave it but I hate it for making me fat! Once I am in the eat mode I just can't get out of it. It's like an addiction. Like a drug. That is my biggest problem throughout all of this. I'm trying to make healthier choices..I just hope I can continue with it. I know I can eat some junk food, just in moderation. Therein lies my problem. The moderation part, lol! I'm just trying not to stress about it and worry about the number on the scales anymore. Maybe i wont even weigh myself at all anymore I will just go by how my clothes fit? That way when I have bad weeks where the numbers don't move I wont get so stressed out about it? Hmm, that's a good idea!

Tuesday, January 1, 2008

Another year!

So it's been an entire year since I first started with my "journey". Hmm, in some ways, I think that I have wasted a lot of it, which I have. However, I did lose some weight and am not ready to throw in the towel yet. I still have a lot more to go. I know that if I would have stuck with it for the entire year I would be really happy with myself right now, but I didn't. I can blame it on being sick, I can blame it on my husband, I can blame it on lots of things but no one puts food in my mouth except for me!

So here we go again. Like I said yesterday I am feeling better now, thankfully this sickness didn't last but a few days this time. I still have a cough and some congestion but nothing like it was last week. My husband and I got a heavy bag over the weekend and have started making use of it. He was a golden glove boxer when he was younger (an injury ended up getting him out of it). He is teaching me how to hit it and different exercises I can do. I really like working out with him because he really pushes me. My left arm felt like it was going to fall off earlier but he wouldnt let me stop! He still kept pushing me to do a few more. I really, really like hitting the heavy bag. It feels good to punch something, lol! I think it helps with my stress level too as I am feeling pretty good today. I've done good today so far with eating. For breakfast I had a light yogurt and a granola bar. For lunch I had a microwave meal (300 cals) and for my snack some celery with peanut butter. Ofcourse lots of water today, too. I have always kept up with drinking lots of water each day. I used to be a pop (soda) freak and drank nothing but that all day long. Now I may drink one diet pop a day but that's it. The rest of the day it is all water!

I didnt weigh myself yet. I'm going to keep at it for awhile and then weigh just to see where I am. I remember what i was the last time I weighed so hopefully I can get the scales to move down again, lol. I'm going to keep reading the weight loss message boards (i have the links posted in my fave links) for inspiration. Also going to get more active with sparkpeople again to keep me motivated...and ofcourse posting here as much as possible. Now that the daily routine is starting to feel like a routine again I think i can manage getting time in to post here more! I need to get back into the mindset that I had a year ago. I felt unstoppable about this back then and I want that back! That is what kept pushing me. I just have to keep reminding myself WHY I am doing this and remind myself of how miserable I am at this weight! Food is not worth it!