Am I mentally able to see myself lose weight? I honestly don't know. I'm hoping that I can. I'm hoping that one day I will look in the mirror and see myself as being beautiful but after so many years of being told how fat and ugly and worthless I am, I often wonder if my head is just too screwed up!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Will I ever see thin??
I often wonder if I will ever see myself as being thin? Even though I have lost a bit of weight, I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I still see that same flat blob. Even when people asking me if I've lost weight, I don't see it. Even when my clothes fit looser, I still can't see it. I've spent almost my entire life hating my body and hating the reflection that I see in the mirror looking back at me every day. Even if I lose 100 lbs will I still see that same bloated face in the mirror? Will I ever see myself as being thin and beautiful? Just like people who suffer from anorexia still see themself as being fat even though they may weigh a mere 80 lbs. Everyone sees just skin and bones but all she sees when she looks in the mirror is a fat girl and that's why she continues to starve herself.
Am I mentally able to see myself lose weight? I honestly don't know. I'm hoping that I can. I'm hoping that one day I will look in the mirror and see myself as being beautiful but after so many years of being told how fat and ugly and worthless I am, I often wonder if my head is just too screwed up!
Am I mentally able to see myself lose weight? I honestly don't know. I'm hoping that I can. I'm hoping that one day I will look in the mirror and see myself as being beautiful but after so many years of being told how fat and ugly and worthless I am, I often wonder if my head is just too screwed up!
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I think it's admirable that you want to lose weight. Maybe it would help if you thought more of it from a health aspect rather than just an appearance aspect it would be helpful.
ReplyDeleteI can understand how you feel. Sometimes I can't see the weight I've lost, even though other people can. I think that maybe, once we've lost the weight and kept it off for a little while we might be able to see it though.
ReplyDeleteto anony well ofcourse health is part of it but when you have lived almost your entire life being fat and made fun of, told that you are ugly and disgusting and no one wants you, then ofcourse you would be thinking about appearance. For once in my life i would like to be able to look in the mirror and LIKE what I see!...and to cory, I'm hoping the same thing! Once it's off for awhile AND when I see clothing sizes going down, down, down then maybe I will realize it for myself that Ive lost weight!
ReplyDeleteYou see yourself every day, so the changes from day to day are smaller, and easy for you not to see. Someone who does not see you every day will notice the changes more than you.
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