I often wonder if I will ever see myself as being thin? Even though I have lost a bit of weight, I don't see it when I look in the mirror. I still see that same flat blob. Even when people asking me if I've lost weight, I don't see it. Even when my clothes fit looser, I still can't see it. I've spent almost my entire life hating my body and hating the reflection that I see in the mirror looking back at me every day. Even if I lose 100 lbs will I still see that same bloated face in the mirror? Will I ever see myself as being thin and beautiful? Just like people who suffer from anorexia still see themself as being fat even though they may weigh a mere 80 lbs. Everyone sees just skin and bones but all she sees when she looks in the mirror is a fat girl and that's why she continues to starve herself.
Am I mentally able to see myself lose weight? I honestly don't know. I'm hoping that I can. I'm hoping that one day I will look in the mirror and see myself as being beautiful but after so many years of being told how fat and ugly and worthless I am, I often wonder if my head is just too screwed up!