Tuesday, July 10, 2007

A little talk with myself...

Ok, I'm really falling behind and feeling like I could have lost a lot more weight by now if I would stay on track more. I have little "cheat" meals here and there and then they end up lasting all day or sometimes all weekend! I can't give up. I have been at this for way too long now to just give up and gain these 27 lbs back and go back to being my fat lazy self. I dont need to pig out all the time. I dont need to stuff my face in order to feel happy! I dont want that but why does my mind crave it? One part of me wants to lose weight and be happy with my body while the other half is thinking about having Taco Bell for dinner! I have to start getting my arse back into gear. I wanted to be at my goal on my next bday but the way things are going it's going to take a lot longer than that if I dont start kicking my own ass! That's why I wanted to start this challenge to get some extra motivation. Two people have joined so far, we need some more members to help and encourage! Just post in a comment if you want to join our challenge, beginning July 15!

I need to stop using excuses. Just because it's the time of the month and Im craving food doesn't give me a reason to pig out and not work out. Just because I had a bad day doesnt give me an excuse to order pizza and pig out. What's the point? A few minutes of happiness from the food turning into self hatred for eating that, not to mention the gas pains and stomach cramps afterwards. Why do I do that to myself? I have such a love/hate relationship with food. I need it, but it's my worse enemy. I love eating it but it makes me miserable. Why can't I get over this hurdle? Maybe because I've struggled with an eating problem since I was about 5 years old? That's 25 years of eating crap! I'm stronger than this. I can over come this. I have so many reasons to do it and no reason NOT to do it! I have to tell myself this and get myself back into it full speed ahead with no looking back. No more excuses, just eating healthier and working out! I am stronger than the food and I don't need to stuff my face anymore!!


  1. I know EXACTLY how you feel. I've actually been there many times before, even this year! But we can do it this time. I know we can!

  2. Hang in there! Don't listen to the binge monster. It is our worst enemy. Always sitting on our shoulder telling us all those bad things to eat and then beats us up. If I could figure out how to get rid of that thing I would be doing great! LOL I am really trying to focus on not listening to "it". I know that I can make good food choices and think for myself. I know what is best for me. Food can't be my whole universe. It doesn't make me or break me. It is just food. God meant it for nourishment. Not to obsess over it. God is the only thing we need to obsess about. I almost listened to the binge monster tonight as I am really sick and I always like to feed sickness, but I am happy to say that I have not given in to the temptation to binge. I still have 7 points left and I am just going to go to bed. I am not physically hungry, I am just emotionally hungry. Somehow eating will cure me of my sickness. If that were true then I would never be sick. :) So here I am, binge monster going crazy in my ear to eat and I am chosing, cause it is MY choice, to ignore him and he will be gone until tomorroow..... then I will tackle "it" tomorrow. Just one day at a time. You can do this.. CHOOSE NOT TO LISTEN! You ARE stronger than the binge monster!! :)

  3. thank you both for the comments and encouragements! The binge monster is so horrible! It's almost like when I have food in front of me, I black out and don't listen to reason I just listen to my mouth and tummy wanting that food. I hate it!! I need to make myself stop and think before I put food in my mouth...and ask myself if I really NEED it and is it worth all of the extra calories?? ..that's easier said than done though!!