Friday, February 3, 2012

Pizza Is The Devil

I thought I did pretty good this week. I worked out every day, even twice yesterday because I played Just Dance with my kids last night, too! I had a few slip ups with eating, but I wasn't super worried about it. I wasn't sure if I was going to weigh in this week or if I was going to wait til next week. I decided to weigh myself at like 3am when I went to the bathroom.. and it said I was 5 lbs more than I was last Friday? What the crap?? Only thing I can think of is that I think I forgot to take my BP medication yesterday and it helps me to get rid of any retained water. This is one reason I wasn't sure about weighing in every week. Yes, it gives me something to look forward to and focus on every week, but on weeks like this when the scale goes in the wrong direction, I don't want to get discouraged and give up. I'm not going to though. I still worked out this morning and I really pushed myself!

My biggest saboteur right now is Pizza. It's my favorite food, has been since I was a kid and my mom said she craved pizza when she was pregnant with me. If there is leftover pizza, I have to eat it, knowing that it's out there in the fridge. This is what I need to work on. I'm not going to deprive myself of foods that I love, I just need to learn to not pig out on it. I can have a little of it along with something healthy. I just have to remind myself of that when pizza is around! It's my weakness, hands down.

I got some real inspiration the other day watching the first episode of My 600lb Life on TLC. This first woman weight over 600 lbs and had the gastric bypass surgery and lost over 500 lbs! She had to have a lot of surgeries though to get rid of all of the excess skin. I'm not going to get surgery, but it still inspired me to see someone sooo HUGE down to less than 200 lbs. Can you imagine how different that would feel? To go from a body that is soo uncomfortable you can barely walk, down to a thin body that can do anything? I always thought that I was just a fat person. My mom is heavy, her mom was heavy. It's in our genes, and in our jeans. I kinda just thought it was impossible to lose so much weight and ever be considered thin. I just never thought it was possible for me because I've been big since I was about 5 or 6 years old. It's all I know. I don't want to be the fat girl any more. Even when I lost 45 lbs a few years ago, I still felt fat because I still WAS over weight. It just seems like it would take sooo long to lose it all. When I first started this blog, it was the beginning of 2007. That's when I lost 45 lbs. Now, when I think back, I think, if I had just stuck with it, I would be thin now.

When I watch the Biggest Loser and weight loss shows, it always seems that the person has had some sort of traumatic experience that made them turn to food. I don't think I have something so traumatic that made me like this. I think I was just raised that way. When I was a kid, my mom and I lived on mac and cheese, hot dogs, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and fast food. If something good happened to one of us, we would reward ourselves with food. If we had a bad day, let's order pizza. It's that comforting feeling that food brings to me.. and it's almost as if I don't feel satisfied until my stomach is so stuffed that I can't breathe! How do I stop this?

This is Melissa on GMA standing behind the skirt she once wore. Amazing.


  1. When I get up in the morning, I say "New Day"! Never stop stopping. Do this thing one day at a time. I have foods that "talk" to me when they are in my fridge and cupboards. Sometimes I simply have to throw food away because I can't not eat it. Sometimes at work, I pick up a cookie or donut, eat bite and throw the rest in the trash. It's counter intuitive to how we were raised but junk food is like poison to our bodies. Having said all that, I have the same battles you do. Hang in there and stay the course! Nice blog!!