What about Post Partum Depression??

It's Always Something!

Hmm, Well maybe I was wrong about everyone having their own definition of happiness? Maybe everyone agrees with the dictionary definition? That's what I'm assuming since not one person commented on my last post? *teh*

Anyway, have a lot going on here. My husband's family is having problems. His uncle died two weeks ago from cancer. Now his aunt (the two used to be married but are not divorced) is in the hospital ready to die from cancer. She had surgery the day after her ex husband's funeral and was told that her body was so riddled with cancer that she has mere weeks to live. She was released from the hospital yesterday only to return a few hours later with a blood clot inches from her heart. Two years ago their thirty something year old daughter died from cancer. Cancer is a very scary thing and it actually has me thinking about my own family. My mom's biological mother went through the same thing of being opened up for surgery only to find her body filled with cancer. There was nothing they could do so they stitched her back up and she died mere weeks later. The same thing could happen to my mother or ME. I'm not exactly a spring chicken anymore. I will be 32 in a few weeks (don't remind me!).

On a more positive note, I think we are going to be moving! There is a beautiful house that will be available soon in my hometown and I want it! It's a two story three bedroom, 1 1/2 bath house with a 2 car garage. All hardwood floors. The living room is huge, the dining room is huge, the bedrooms are huge, the bathroom upstairs is huge, a screened in back porch, fenced in back yard, a re-done basement and it even has a little office room upstairs with a built in desk that would be just PERFECT for my work and school work! My husband is not too happy about it though. He has been fighting me on it. He doesn't really like my hometown and it would be further for him to drive to work. I made a list of the pros and cons about moving and there were only 3 cons and like 20 pros but he still is not convinced! He knows how badly I want this and how much better of a place it would be. The kids would have soo much more room, not to mention a big fenced in back yard to play in! One of the most important things for me about moving is that I would have friends close around. I think that is really what I need right now. I think that would make a HUGE difference for me. I would have friends go talk to. I could get out of the house more and do more things. I wouldn't feel caged up like I do here because I don't know anyone here. Our kids would have other kids to play with. I really think it would be good for our marriage, too because I think that I would be happier! I told him the other night that I'm moving with or without him.. so I think he is convinced that we are moving (and he refuses to let me go without him). The house still has a lot of things to be fixed so it wont be ready to move in to until May 1 so if all goes well I will be spending the majority of April packing! I've never been so excited to move before!

Happy??

I was sitting here looking over my blog trying to decide what to post about! Starting to get writer's block for this blog and needed some inspiration! As I was looking through my past posts something just popped into my head. I started asking myself, "what is it like to truly feel happy?" Then I started wondering what the definition of "happy" is?

Dictionary.com defines it as this:

1. delighted, pleased, or glad, as over a particular thing: to be happy to see a person.
2. characterized by or indicative of pleasure, contentment, or joy: a happy mood; a happy frame of mind.
3. favored by fortune; fortunate or lucky: a happy, fruitful land.
4. apt or felicitous, as actions, utterances, or ideas.
5. obsessed by or quick to use the item indicated (usually used in combination): a trigger-happy gangster. Everybody is gadget-happy these days.

Now that I've thought of it for a little bit, I'm sure that everyone has their own different perception of what true happiness really is!

Can money buy happiness? Having the ability to buy anything your heart desires? Go on vacations? Have a nice house? Nice car? Nice clothing? Can that make someone truly happy? What about love? Can love make someone feel truly happy?

What does happiness feel like? Is it this overwhelming feeling of contentment that everything is good, everything is great? Having no worries in the world? Is it that feeling of just wanting to smile all the time and wish everyone a good day? Does true happiness last? Does it even EXIST?

I'm curious and hoping for some reader response here. I would love to find out what everyone's idea of true happiness is??

It's March, finally!

I haven't given an update on me personally in awhile so thought I would do that! I've been on the Effexor for awhile now. The doctor raised my dosage a few weeks ago. So far it seems to be working well. The depression and mood swings are far and few between. I did have a bad couple of days a few weeks ago but they didn't last! I definitely feel more relaxed. I know that some people complain that they feel "emotionless" and maybe I do feel that way sometimes but yet I like it. I don't get upset over small things anymore. I'm able to just blow things off and let them go easily. I don't like the drama that comes with getting upset easily, so I'm enjoying the calmness!

I've also noticed an increase in energy. I've gotten a lot of things done around the house over the past few weeks that have been on my "to do" list for MONTHS! I've gotten a lot of crap organized and it really is a good feeling to not feel like everything is chaotic and out of control! I feel like that sometimes when things are a mess and unorganized!

I've also recently signed up to be a volunteer at the local Humane Society! I'm soooo excited! My first day was supposed to be today but I've been down with a bad sinus infection and didn't think I would make a good first impression today, lol! I'm planning on Saturday now. I'm hoping to use this as a stepping stone to eventually get hired at a Veterinarian's Office. I can gain some experience and knowledge working here. I'm hoping that once they get to know me I will be able to help them with things like giving medication and injections, things like that! I'm going to LOVE being around animals all the time! Sometimes all you have to do is just sit and play with the cats to give them some social interaction! I'm also excited because this will get me out of the house and I will get to meet some new people, which is what I think I need right now, too!

Sooo, right now, I'm actually feeling PRETTY good. Things are going somewhat better with my husband and I. We haven't been able to go to counseling in almost a month because of his job. He normally had the same two days off every week, well now they have started to muck the schedules around so he doesn't know what days he will have off and we can't make appointments at the last minute so I don't know what we are going to do about that?? I do think we still need to go but the only time we can go is while the kids are in school as we have no one else to watch them during the week!

I will be back soon!!