They're All Gonna Laugh At You!!

I've decided that I'm only going to weigh myself at the end of each month. That way I won't get discouraged if I don't lose anything each week.. I like to notice weight loss by my clothing instead of numbers on a scale anyway. In fact, it's been warmer out this past week and I've noticed that all of my capris are practically falling off of me, which is good, but I don't have the money to go buy new capris! They are baggy and saggy on me, too and don't look too good on me. *sigh* Ah well, I still won't complain though.

I've been going out of my comfort zone and going for walks in the mornings. That sounds kinda odd saying that I'm going out of my comfort zone to go for a walk but it's true. I think it all stems back to when I was younger when people would yell fat comments at me or look at me and laugh. I don't like to do anything by myself. I used to not even want to go to the store by myself but I've gotten over that. Whenever I'm alone in public, I feel like everyone is staring at me and laughing even though, in reality, I know most people are not even paying attention to me and it's just my paranoia. I'm ok going for walks with my kids but this is the first time I've ever gone for a walk completely by myself. No, seriously! Apart from walking to friends' house when I was a kid. We just moved to this town almost a year ago. It's a small town and everyone seems to be pretty friendly; the type of town where people wave at you while they drive by. I just turn on my iPod and walk! I love going in the mornings when the day is brand new with the fresh air, and most people are at work so it's quiet out and not many cars. My only problem is NOT singing along with the iPod. I have a bunch of 80s songs on it and when I listen to it at home I usually sing at the top of my lungs but I can't do that in public, haha. I've been feeling great, too after going for these walks. I feel energized, my legs feel great, the fresh air feels great, I love it. At the end of next week, the kids will be done with school (ugh) so I told them that they are going to start walking with me, too. They don't mind that at all though especially if  we walk to the park and I let them play for awhile... it gets us all some exercise and fresh air. If I can just keep up with it, I think I'll do great!!

I just have to get myself over this paranoia or whatever you want to call it that I have. Always thinking that people are staring and laughing. It's like some deep seeded fear that has to be from my younger years. I have to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there and eventually I will sincerely realize that no one is staring at me or laughing at me and if they ARE laughing at me, they are idiots that I don't give a crap about anyway.