Did You Survive Fat Tuesday?

Ugh, the past week hasn't been too great. First I was sick, then my monthly enemy friend showed up. I decided that I'm not going to weigh on shark week (I love calling it that!), for a few reasons. First of all, I don't exercise much during that time because I sometimes get realllly bad cramps, the type that hurt even when I'm just sitting! Plus, my eating gets all out of wack and I get all bloated and crappy. I decided to skip that week of weighing so that if the number goes up or I don't lose, I won't get too discouraged. That's not saying that I have a "freebie" week though. I've still been trying to exercise and control what I eat. Although, I lost control a few times this week. *sigh*

Something strange happened earlier this week. I hadn't exercised in about 4 days because of being sick and having cramps. I was feeling almost lost without working out. I actually WANTED to workout and I got up and did it! and have done it every day since. I think exercising is turning into a habit for me. I feel so much better on the days that I work out in the mornings. It gives me more energy during the day and I just feel better about myself. Yeah! .. I have done the workout video a few times that I won in a giveaway, but I don't like it too much. It's just not exciting. I used to do Turbo Jam and a Biggest Loser video when I lost weight before. I loved Turbo Jam! It was difficult at first but after awhile I was able to do the entire workout and it felt so good!

How many of you would be offended by this? *raises hand*. At first glance, I would be offended by it.. but how many overweight people are too ashamed to admit that it's true? Unless you have some sort of metabolism or thyroid problem or a medical reason that you are overweight, you eat too much! I admit it. I love food! It relaxes me and it's almost like a "high". I'm not one of those people that you see on TV who eats like 5 bowls of cereal every morning along with 10 eggs and 10 slices of bacon. I don't eat like THAT.. but I used to eat until I was stuffed to the gil. I would eat so much that I couldn't breathe. This is the hardest thing for me to overcome. I can add exercise into my life, no problem. Controlling what and how much I eat is a big problem. My brain is programmed to eat everything on my plate, even if I'm stuffed. Even if it means that I feel sick afterwards. How many of you are addicted to food?? Admit it, here and now!

What can we do to overcome this addiction? It's worse than drug addiction or alcohol addiction in my opinion. We have to be around food every day and everywhere we go. We can't just quit eating cold turkey and never look at another piece of pizza again. We HAVE to deal with it. We have to stop our thoughts before we let them take control of our mouths. I think this is when we should remind ourselves of WHAT we are doing this for! Remind ourselves of our health, of our kids, of the fun things we want to do when we are smaller. That stuff is so much more important than pigging out. We have to figure out how to re-train our brain. Any ideas??

So Far, So Good... What's Next??

I had a bunch of things to write about this week, but now I'm feeling like poop and haven't done a thing for the past 3 days. I think I have another sinus infection. My head hurts, my face hurts, I can't stop coughing. UGH! I tried to exercise as much as I could but yesterday I decided I should probably put working out on hold until I get rid of this crap.

I did lose another 2lbs this week! I was hoping for more, but any loss is still a loss, plus I know I missed a few workouts. I was kind of bad last weekend, too. I'm going to attempt to be more in control of what I stuff my face with this weekend. Weekends are always the worst for me because we are always busy. I have a routine during the day.. when I get out of my routine, it screws everything up! I love routine. As of right now, I can't even taste anything so really have no reason to want to eat junk if I can't even taste it. It seems like a waste if you can't taste it, right??

I always seem to do pretty good during the week. Like I said, I get on a routine, and the odd thing is, I really don't feel very hungry. I don't find myself craving things. I think one thing that helps is allowing myself one "cheat" day... mine is Friday. Gives me something to look forward to during the week. I think it's better to have one day a week that you are allowed to cheat (within reason.. and not to the point of making yourself sick!) than to just lose control and eat, eat, and eat until you forget the whole idea of losing weight or getting healthy! You can lose weight without never being able to eat pizza again. It's all about moderation. Eat 1 slice of pizza instead of 3, or get a kids meal instead of the regular jumbo sized portion. Thin people eat pizza and ice cream, too (well, most of them do), they just don't eat the entire container in one night all by themself!

I've also noticed that I don't stuff myself as much... without even thinking about it! When I used to eat, I would eat until my stomach was stretched to its limits and writhe in pain thinking about how stupid I am. Once I began getting healthy, I had to stop and remind myself to put down the fork as soon as my stomach began feeling full. I've noticed lately that I don't even have to think about it, I just stop. I think these are steps in the right direction! I see my next goal coming into my reach!

My Pants Are Falling Off!

I wore a pair of jeans today that I bought a few months ago. They were comfy.. not to loose, not too tight. Every time I stand up today I have to pull them up. Woohoo for me!! I also weighed myself again this morning. Down 9 lbs since last week. So last week's gain had to be due to water retention. I'm really not good at watching my sodium. I usually don't add much salt to food, but I don't stay away from foods that are already salty. Thankfully, my blood pressure medication helps me to get rid of it.. but I don't plan on being on the medication forever. I'm hoping once I get some more weight off, I can go off of the medication. Oh, but I DID meet my first goal! I got one pound below a certain number (still not willing to share my weight)... so now I'm figuring out what my next goal is go be. I've lost a total of 29 lbs so far!!!!!!!

When I lost weight a few years ago, I bought smaller sized jeans. It was such a great feeling to be able to fit into pants that were 4 sizes smaller.. but the last time I put them on, I had to lie on the bed to get the zipper up.. and they made me sooo uncomfortable I couldn't breathe, not to mention that they pushed my muffin top out further! I put them away and didn't know if I'd be able to wear them again. I'm contemplating getting them out and trying them on again, but I'm scared to. I think I'll wait a few more weeks, lol.

My week went really well, I worked out almost every day and I ate healthily most days. My lunches consisted of celery with a little bit of peanut butter and a piece of cheese. Oddly enough, I didn't feel as if I were being deprived or like I was starving. I went out to lunch with my mom today and could only eat half of it. I think I'm getting there. I'm very determined right now and I hope it stays this way. I've been like this before, super determined to do it right, then something happens along the way and I give up or I just grow tired of worrying about what I'm eating or working out. I should remind myself that worrying about that stuff is a lot better than worrying about my health problems and not seeing my kids grow up!!

I can't wait until others begin noticing my weight loss. My husband hasn't said one word about it, but then he sees me every day so probably doesn't notice it.. plus, I don't even think he bothers to look at me. ... It's always nice when others notice and comment on the weight loss. I'm going to become the incredible shrinking fat lady! Speaking of fat lady, I started writing a book. It's something I've wanted to do for awhile, but never taken the time to start it. I don't know how often I'll get to work on it, so it may take years to finish, but I'm going to do it. It's about my life and growing up as the "fat girl". Hopefully, it will have a happy ending with me shedding some major pounds so that I can put a before and after photo at the end! yeah!

I'm still looking for a cheering squad! If anyone else is trying to lose weight or has lost weight, leave me a comment and let me know. Maybe we could start our own little cheering squad to help one another. Come on, I know some of you are out there! Raise your hands!!!!

Pizza Is The Devil

I thought I did pretty good this week. I worked out every day, even twice yesterday because I played Just Dance with my kids last night, too! I had a few slip ups with eating, but I wasn't super worried about it. I wasn't sure if I was going to weigh in this week or if I was going to wait til next week. I decided to weigh myself at like 3am when I went to the bathroom.. and it said I was 5 lbs more than I was last Friday? What the crap?? Only thing I can think of is that I think I forgot to take my BP medication yesterday and it helps me to get rid of any retained water. This is one reason I wasn't sure about weighing in every week. Yes, it gives me something to look forward to and focus on every week, but on weeks like this when the scale goes in the wrong direction, I don't want to get discouraged and give up. I'm not going to though. I still worked out this morning and I really pushed myself!

My biggest saboteur right now is Pizza. It's my favorite food, has been since I was a kid and my mom said she craved pizza when she was pregnant with me. If there is leftover pizza, I have to eat it, knowing that it's out there in the fridge. This is what I need to work on. I'm not going to deprive myself of foods that I love, I just need to learn to not pig out on it. I can have a little of it along with something healthy. I just have to remind myself of that when pizza is around! It's my weakness, hands down.

I got some real inspiration the other day watching the first episode of My 600lb Life on TLC. This first woman weight over 600 lbs and had the gastric bypass surgery and lost over 500 lbs! She had to have a lot of surgeries though to get rid of all of the excess skin. I'm not going to get surgery, but it still inspired me to see someone sooo HUGE down to less than 200 lbs. Can you imagine how different that would feel? To go from a body that is soo uncomfortable you can barely walk, down to a thin body that can do anything? I always thought that I was just a fat person. My mom is heavy, her mom was heavy. It's in our genes, and in our jeans. I kinda just thought it was impossible to lose so much weight and ever be considered thin. I just never thought it was possible for me because I've been big since I was about 5 or 6 years old. It's all I know. I don't want to be the fat girl any more. Even when I lost 45 lbs a few years ago, I still felt fat because I still WAS over weight. It just seems like it would take sooo long to lose it all. When I first started this blog, it was the beginning of 2007. That's when I lost 45 lbs. Now, when I think back, I think, if I had just stuck with it, I would be thin now.

When I watch the Biggest Loser and weight loss shows, it always seems that the person has had some sort of traumatic experience that made them turn to food. I don't think I have something so traumatic that made me like this. I think I was just raised that way. When I was a kid, my mom and I lived on mac and cheese, hot dogs, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, and fast food. If something good happened to one of us, we would reward ourselves with food. If we had a bad day, let's order pizza. It's that comforting feeling that food brings to me.. and it's almost as if I don't feel satisfied until my stomach is so stuffed that I can't breathe! How do I stop this?

This is Melissa on GMA standing behind the skirt she once wore. Amazing.