Monday, March 22, 2010

Fat Old Me.

I've been repeatedly asking myself if I should even bother to keep this blog going, or if I should just throw in the towel. I really have no regular followers on this blog. I've put the majority of my energy into my work at home blog, even my Rants In My Pants blog has more hits than this blog, lol. I don't have much time to network with other blogs, or recruit new followers, but am I ready to give up? This blog has actually been through a lot.

I started this blog in January of 2007. Initially it was going to be my weight loss blog. My Journey To A New Found me-- my struggle with losing weight. It was great at first, I lost 45 lbs on my own. I worked out at home, on my own, watched what I ate, and it worked! I went through a lot of difficult things in my marriage, and ended up gaining it all back, eventually.

Last year, I really began to work on myself. I went on an anti-depressant to help control my depression and anger problems. The meds. have helped immensely. I've really improved myself. I'm happier. I'm more patient. My marriage is going great right now. I'm in college now, improving my life and making new friends. I wrote about a lot of these changes in this blog as well. Since it all has to do with finding the NEW me.

There's just one thing that keeps holding me back. All of this fat!! I'm gaining control of everything else in my life, but why can't I control my weight?

I've started over today. Again. Trying to eat better, and work out a few times a week. My husband is helping out by pushing me with working out. He does a really good job with coaching, he pushes me to do more than what I think I can do. ..

I'm writing this post, asking for help from someone out there. Someone who knows what I'm going through. Someone who can help me through this. A cheering section, maybe? Someone that I can be accountable to? Is there anyone out there? I will even give you my private email if you are out there? I'm calling to you... can you hear me? The days and years are ticking by, and this weight is going to make my life shorter and shorter. I want to be around to watch my kids grow up, and have babies of their own. I'm gonna try, really try to write more in this blog, and my other blogs. This blog will be all about me, and becoming the woman I want to be. Weight loss, motherhood, wife-hood, college, work.. I'm finally growing up at the ripe old age of 32 (and only a few weeks left of this age, too, argh!!). Any takers?


  1. Well, I pass by every once in awhile. Good to see you progressing. Wish I knew of someone that might be your weight-loss bud, but I don't. I do hope you find one, though, if that's what you want. ...A tip I can give you is to replace the food habit with another (healthier) habit. Seems obvious, huh? But, the trick is to find the habit that gives as much satisfaction so that it has the potential to forever take the place of overeating. ...Keep on keeping on.

  2. Even if you have only a few readers... or even just one, if your blog makes a difference to that one person... means a lot. I know exactly how you feel and what you're going through. I've stopped by your blog a few times and it is great. It's nice to know that you're not alone, that there are others going through the same.
    I have been struggling for a long time, and now I've been diagnosed with PCOS= polycystic Ovary syndrom... which makes weight loss even harder then before. Now with that I'm on the verge of becoming a diabetic... so it's definatly scary. I am now on a waiting list for bariatric surgery... need all the help I can get.
    I'll keep stopping in to see if you have any updates.
    All the best,

  3. I say keep it, even if it is just for yourself. Writing is the best form of therapy. I have battles with my weight as well as depression so I can relate to just about everything you are saying. It may seem as if you are alone here, but in reality, you are not.

  4. I am so with you girl. When I went on my bipolar meds I gained 80 lbs and I just can't lose it. Also, I'm with ya on the blog thing. My stupehero blog has a handful of loyal readers, but my Jane Doe blogs don't get many visits. But I keep up with them, cuz as IrishChik said, writing is the best form of therapy. :) And it's cheaper than therapy too. Though, even with all I write, I'm still in therapy once a week. Go figure.

    Anyhoo...give me a shout out if you need to vent or talk or whatever. My email is on my blogger profile. :)