Monday, November 5, 2007

Winter is approaching!

I thought that by winter time I would need to be buying a whole new winter wardrobe because of all of the weight I had lost. Isn't that a laugh? I dont need any new winter clothes this year. Dont get me wrong, my jeans are looser this year and my clothes are fitting better than they did last year, but I dont need any new ones, damn it! I was just sitting here earlier realizing that I started all of this on January 1st. Here it is November 5 and what do I have to show for it? A lousy ass 25 lbs lost. For 11 months. Isn't that pathetic? Today is a new day though and Im ready to start again. I've gotten a lot of motivation from my new friend that I spoke about earlier. I did finally weigh myself last week and I have only gained back like 3 lbs...and when I weighed I was fully dressed and had already eaten breakfast (i always weigh with no clothes first thing in the morning before I eat or drink anything). How I did it, I dont know? I've been eating horribly for awhile now. I was getting to the point that come bedtime I would be feeling gassy and bloated every night like I used to feel. Hating myself for stuffing my face that day! My depression has been back and my insecurities are causing some problems for me again..I dont need that crap. I dont want to be that way again. I was feeling so good about myself when I was losing weight and I need to get back to that again for my health and sanity and marriage! My husband doesn't care what I weigh but my insecurities and depression are causing problems for us again. I dont want to live that way again. Right now I am in the right state of mind about food. Junk food is just sounding disgusting to me and I dont want that nasty bloated feeling that comes with eating it!

My husband went back to work today (more on that later one) so Im trying to get back into the routine of everything again. For breakfast I had a whole wheat English Muffin toasted with a slice of cheese and water. Sometimes toasted food will give me heartburn and this morning was really bad. I was feeling good when I got up but after I ate i started feeling sick from the heartburn. I worked out for about 25 minutes but had to stop when I felt like I was going to throw up. Something from breakfast didnt settle well with me today and I dont know why. I used to eat that all the time, lol. I did get a decent work out in. I have to get my body used to working out again. It's like starting all over again, but I love how working out makes me feel afterwards! Now I just wish my stomach would straighten up so I can feel better today! I just hope this state of mind stays with me this time. I fell off the wagon for quite awhile and was all of that junk food worth it? NO! What do I have to show for it? An upset stomach and a few extra pounds, that's what! I'm soo angry at myself for wasting all of this time when I could have lost a significant amount of weight by now.

Someone asked me awhile ago if I was going to change the logo for my blog because it has the year 2007 on it. I thought about it and decided that Im not going to change it. This is my journey to the new me. I dont know how long this journey will take but 2007 will always be the year that started it!

Ok, onto other things. My husband had his surgery on the 23rd. The surgeon said his insides were a mess, all of his organs were twisted up and in a big ball right in the middle of his stomach but the doctor says everything is fine now. He hasnt gotten sick one time since his surgery two weeks ago. I didnt work out at all while he was home because like I said before, I dont work out around him, lol. This past week we did go for a couple of walks though once he was feeling up to it. Tonight Im going to sit down with him and have a talk with him about him helping me with my weight loss. Ive written about it a few times in here. He says I dont need to lose weight (wth??) and he is always bringing junk food into the house or trying to talk me into going out to eat. I am not good with temptation. I have a very hard time saying no if it is right in front of me and it will help me a lot if the temptation just isn't there!

Ok, that's my little update for now. I'm hoping to start posting more often again like I used to!!


  1. Hey, 25 lbs is a good loss for 10 months! Don't think of it as a bad thing. I was hoping to buy new winter clothes this year as well, but that's ok. Just think of how much better we will look in what we have!!!! (And it's another year to save up to buy those nice clothes!)

  2. yeah, Im trying not to get too depressed about it, now Im just focusing on being able to buy new summer clothes next year, lol!..I am proud of the 25 lbs, just think it should have been more by now! I planned on being at goal by my next bday (april)..that is NOT going to happen, haha

  3. i have a diet book out which may help you.

    check my blog for details (on the right hand side)

    and main site