The Scales Don't Lie

I finally faced the scales today. I lost 3 lbs. I should be happy about it.. and I'm glad that I didn't gain, but that's 3 lbs in a month. That's not enough! I guess I'm going to have to really get serious and eat better on the weekends. I do good throughout the week but the weekends are bad. Everything is out of whack on the weekends. Kids are home and we always seem to have something to do or are on the go and I have a hard time making good food choices especially when it comes to eating out at restaurants. They just have so much good bad food!! I guess I gotta face it though if I want to see the scales go down faster. I bust my ass 5 days a week working out, but the calories on the weekends are going to slow everything down. Fridays are still my "free day" (and it's today, yay!) but the rest of the weekend I have to be good. I was kind of worried that the scale would go UP, just because I haven't really noticed my clothing being looser, so I'm still happy to see a decline in the number.

Food should not be my best friend, but who is? To be completely honest, I don't have anyone except for my mother. My husband is not there for me any more. My friends have just kind of blown me off (I should be used to that). I really have no one to lean on or talk to. It's depressing which only makes my depression worse! My mom and I are very close and she's trying to lose weight, too.. but I need people my own age in my life, too. Plus, my mom lives 40 minutes away so I only see her usually once on the weekends. I don't have anyone in this town to do things with or even go for walks with, apart from the kids. Some days I just feel like my life really sucks. I'm not happy with how thing are in my life right now and I have to figure out how to change things. I don't want to live like this forever but I know it's not going to change unless I do something about it.

OH, I just had to share this. So a friend of mine made a comment on his Facebook page about "nasty fat bitches".. so I left a comment just saying, "WTF".. then he IM'd me and tried explaining what he was meaning. In this amusing conversation, he said, "I'm not meaning the sweet larger girls that I know and I hope you don't think it was meant towards you". I understand he was trying to be nice but damn, "sweet larger girls".. THANKS SO MUCH, buddy!!!!

Mmmm, bacon.

Scales Are Evil.

I'm still staying away from the scales. I haven't been so super bad that I'm afraid to get on it.. I just don't want to get discouraged. I remember when I lost weight before how depressed I would get if I only lost 1 lb in a week or if I gained a pound. I would begin asking myself WHY I was busting my ass working out every day and keeping myself from all of the bad foods. I know muscle weighs more than fat but it can get discouraging when you don't get the results you want. I will weigh in one of these days just to see where I'm standing.. maybe I'll only weigh at the end of each month? I don't know. I'll figure it out though. I know my clothes are looser so that's what I'm going to go by.

I really wish I would have done this shit when I was younger. It's a lot easier to dedicate yourself to things when you don't have kids or so many freaking other responsibilities. I have so many other things to worry about in my life right now but I'm not going to give up on this. I feel soo much better when I'm working out and eating healthier. It's amazing how much of a difference exercise can make in your life. Some days I just don't want to get up and do it but I know that I will feel so much better afterwards. I have a lot more energy throughout the day when I work out in the morning. I don't think I could ever be one of those people who gets up at 5am to go workout though, that's just insanity!!

Just checking in for now. I know I haven't been posting here much but I suppose that's ok because I don't have any readers anyway, so I'm just talking to myself. Ha!!