They're All Gonna Laugh At You!!

I've decided that I'm only going to weigh myself at the end of each month. That way I won't get discouraged if I don't lose anything each week.. I like to notice weight loss by my clothing instead of numbers on a scale anyway. In fact, it's been warmer out this past week and I've noticed that all of my capris are practically falling off of me, which is good, but I don't have the money to go buy new capris! They are baggy and saggy on me, too and don't look too good on me. *sigh* Ah well, I still won't complain though.

I've been going out of my comfort zone and going for walks in the mornings. That sounds kinda odd saying that I'm going out of my comfort zone to go for a walk but it's true. I think it all stems back to when I was younger when people would yell fat comments at me or look at me and laugh. I don't like to do anything by myself. I used to not even want to go to the store by myself but I've gotten over that. Whenever I'm alone in public, I feel like everyone is staring at me and laughing even though, in reality, I know most people are not even paying attention to me and it's just my paranoia. I'm ok going for walks with my kids but this is the first time I've ever gone for a walk completely by myself. No, seriously! Apart from walking to friends' house when I was a kid. We just moved to this town almost a year ago. It's a small town and everyone seems to be pretty friendly; the type of town where people wave at you while they drive by. I just turn on my iPod and walk! I love going in the mornings when the day is brand new with the fresh air, and most people are at work so it's quiet out and not many cars. My only problem is NOT singing along with the iPod. I have a bunch of 80s songs on it and when I listen to it at home I usually sing at the top of my lungs but I can't do that in public, haha. I've been feeling great, too after going for these walks. I feel energized, my legs feel great, the fresh air feels great, I love it. At the end of next week, the kids will be done with school (ugh) so I told them that they are going to start walking with me, too. They don't mind that at all though especially if  we walk to the park and I let them play for awhile... it gets us all some exercise and fresh air. If I can just keep up with it, I think I'll do great!!

I just have to get myself over this paranoia or whatever you want to call it that I have. Always thinking that people are staring and laughing. It's like some deep seeded fear that has to be from my younger years. I have to step out of my comfort zone and put myself out there and eventually I will sincerely realize that no one is staring at me or laughing at me and if they ARE laughing at me, they are idiots that I don't give a crap about anyway.

The power of Exercise!

I know I haven't been blogging much due to a few things. I have been sick for the past week and a half, I've started this new job and have been trying to log in and work whenever possible (with 3 toddlers in the house, I dont have much time to do anything!). The past few days have been very stressful. A bunch of things going wrong at once! Cars broke down, my husband's boss is being an ass (my husband found out a few weeks ago that he has an infected cyst on his kidney and needs surgery to have it removed and tested for cancer), our landlord is mad at my mother in law so she is taking it out on us...it's just been one thing after the other, more stress on top of more stress lately.

Anyway, my whole point of this post is to talk about the power of exercise. Like I said above, I've been sick for a week and a half now. A very bad chest cold. It was really bad in the beginning, now it's better but I still have a lot of chest congestion, coughing and wheezing. I stopped exericising when I first got sick and today was the first day I have attempted to exercise since then! I read a long time ago that when you are sick you should not exercise if you are having chest problems. Just going upstairs makes me wheeze and cough, however this past week has been hard for me with not exercising. I've noticed a big difference since I stopped exercising. I've felt depressed, I've had that "fat" feeling (if you are overweight, you know what Im talking about...there are some days when you just feel overly fat, lol). I have felt lazy because of not exercising and feel like I'm gaining my weight back just from the past week and a half of no workouts!

I decided to try something easy today..just walking at a fast pace. I did it for a little bit, maybe 15 minutes until my chest started hurting and I was wheezing again. I know I shouldn't force myself to work out when I'm still sick but I hate not getting that exercise in every day. I was going to attempt some light jogging today but if walking didn't go to well, jogging would probably kill me! Ugh, I hate this! I want to work out again but my body isn't working with me! When I get sick with a chest and head cold it always stays around for awhile, too. I'm going to keep doing the walking every day until my chest is better. I'm afraid that the more I sit around and don't work out the harder it is going to be for me to get back into it once I'm feeling better. Whether the numbers on the scale are going down or not, working out makes a huge impact on me mentally and physically! I feel better physically from working my body every day and I feel better mentally when I work out because it provides me with more energy and makes me a bit proud of myself for doing it every day! Even if the scales go down, I know that my body is going to be a lot healthier if I work out every day!